Twins are a whirlwind of change!
Endless feedings, sleepless nights, constant diaper changes… Double the excitement! Almost 4 months in and we are still recovering from shock. It has been awesome having twins, and I swear my heart is going to burst from double the cuteness. We’re lucky, because we’ve been able to share their awesome good-looks with visiting friends and family during their first few months out in the world.
While Mom and Dad wade through the uncharted waters of parenting multiples, everyone else just wants to visit the new additions to the family. Who could blame them? Twin babies are fun! Whether it’s the first night, or the 60th, parents of multiples are just searching for some sort of semblance of a routine.
If a family member gives birth to twins, by all means, go visit, and show your support. Take in all of the cuteness. (Maybe even bring the family a casserole, or something). As exciting as it is to visit, just keep these important No-No’s in mind.
Showing Up Unannounced
The last thing parents want (other than a poopy blow-out) are unannounced visitors showing up at the door. Everyone is tired, cranky, and probably still trying to get a routine going with their babies. A spontaneous visit could be disastrous! This is especially true when the family is still in the hospital. Mom is still recovering from most likely a minor surgery. Dad’s still trying to find his place, and the twins have delicate immune systems that could be disrupted by constant visits from the outside world. Call or text and make a plan for a visit at least a day before. Never just call when you’re in the car, on your way!
Showing Up Sick
Keep your germs at home! This should go without saying. If you feel a slight illness coming on or are recovering from something recently, wait a few days before visiting. Keep your, “but I’m building their immune system” pseudoscience away! Go to the doctor and get some clearance. Mention to them that you plan on visiting newborn twins and they’ll be able to tell you if it is a good idea or not. (it’s not.) The babies will be in the house for 18 years…you’ll have plenty of time to see them when you feel better. They won’t lose their cuteness in the first year.
Kissing Babies On The Lips/Face
Never kiss babies on the lips or face. Keep your kisses to the forehead, and only after asking the parents if it is okay. You could be developing a cold you haven’t felt symptoms of, yet. That cold sore you’ve had in your mouth? That is a highly contagious herpes simplex virus. Passing that could be fatal to a baby.
Offering Constant Advice
Unless specifically asked, don’t offer advice, no matter how friendly it may seem. Especially if you’ve never had kids! There is nothing more annoying to a parent than receiving unsolicited advice on parenting or how they should be raising their children. Parents come to their child-rearing decisions based on their own research and/or experience. If they have something they want to discuss or ask about, they will. If they approach you with a question, feel honored they entrust your judgement. This isn’t an open invitation, however. Keep your answer on topic.
Pick Up/Holding Baby Without Asking
Never pick up and hold a baby without asking. They might have just put baby to sleep. There could be medical issues you aren’t aware of. Maybe they just aren’t ready for someone to hold their baby, yet Chances are, the parents will ask you if you would like to hold baby. Also, keep in mind that if it makes you nervous, it is okay to say no.
Note to parents: It is okay if someone doesn’t want to hold your baby. They may be anxious about it and will need time to warm up to the idea. They may never want to hold baby. Please don’t take this personally! It is nothing against you, and your babies are the cutest in the neighborhood, and probably the whole state!
Not Washing Hands
This is a BIG No No! Always wash your hands! Before holding a baby, after wiping your nose, and of course after going to the bathroom. You don’t want to pass on germs to the twins if it could have been prevented by something as simple as washing your hands. Just do it.
Sharing Photos Online
Never share photos of the new twins online unless the parents say it is okay. The parents might avoid social media or have security concerns about sharing their children online. Maybe they haven’t announced their twins to the world yet, and don’t want you to ruin their surprise. Whatever the reason, you don’t work for TMZ. Please ask before snapping photos of the kids.
Ignoring Parent’s Rules
You’ve probably noticed some consistency with this article and that is to respect the parent’s rules. Their number one goal is to keep their babies safe and healthy. That should go without saying, but seeing the twins for the first time is exciting and it is easy to get caught up in the moment. Listen to the parents and do as they ask when visiting.
Babies are fun… and it’s twice as exciting to see twins. Don’t lose your shot at visiting with them because you’re a bone-head! Avoid these No-No’s and you’ll see many more invitations to visit in the future!
What rules do you want people to follow when they come visit your family?