Having twins is an anomaly. If you have them, you’re special.
Not many families have twins so you have the unique opportunity to decide how you want to raise them.
Will you push for individualism in each of our twins or embrace their twindom?
The answer to this question will have a lasting impact on your twins so choose wisely. (Although you won’t melt away like that guy in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade if you chose incorrectly.) Don’t worry, you can always adjust your parenting later if needed.
Why You Should Treat Your Twins as Individuals
Each twin is a unique person. Regardless of if they are identical or fraternal, each of your twins is their own individual human being with a whole host of unique characteristics.
Even identical twins are different. While our identical twin girls look very similar (especially to strangers), they are VERY different in behavior, interests, speech, mannerisms, interests, preferences, hobbies, and more.
Having twins gives you a fun opportunity to study their unique differences. Take a careful look at your twins today. What do they have in common? How are they complete opposites? When you treat them as individuals, these unique aspects will shine through and help you tailor your parenting to each child.
You need to help others identify your twins as individuals. They will have different friends, classmates, and teachers. When you treat them as individuals, it helps others relate to each more personally than simply taking the easy way out and dealing with “the twins”.
You have two kids, not a two-headed monster. Yes, they may act like little monsters sometimes but they are still two different people.
Fostering individualism in your twins will help them be more independent and self-sufficient. When your twins are always grouped together and with each other, they grow dependent on their sibling. This may be an unwanted crutch that inhibits their development.
Raising each of your twins as individuals prepares them for life outside the home and away from you and their twin. They won’t be together forever. As you give them individual opportunities as they grow, it will help them as they prepare for life on their own.
Why You Should Embrace Twindom
While it may seem like every other day some famous celebrity is having twins, twins are still rare. Guess what? That means you have something special to celebrate.
Twins offer the unique opportunity to dress them alike or in themed/similar outfits. When your twins are very young, they look more like twins when dressed the same. Plus you (or your spouse) can have lots of fun playing dress-up and making the twins look super cute. Twins that are dressed the same will get a quicker response from others when you are out in public.
Since your twins are the same age, they will be going through similar activities together. These will be in age-appropriate phases. Take advantage of this and put “the twins” in activities together. We had our girls together in dance class for several years and gymnastics too. Remember, to always ask for the twin (or multiple sibling) discount.
As a parent of twins, you are a circus when out with the family in public. The simple act of going to the store with your twins makes you an instant celebrity.
Lugging around two car seats? You’re famous.
Pushing a double stroller with two cute little ones inside? You’re a star.
Embrace this fun part of twindom by giving all your raving fans something to see and fawn over.
You Can Embrace Individualism and Twindom
Twins don’t realize they are twins early on. Others will identify them as twins long before they know what that even means.
I’d recommend you embrace the individualism of your twins so you can learn and encourage each of their unique personalities and needs. This will help you be a better parent because you can customize your interactions with each child.
That said, have fun with your twins. Embrace the twindom and celebrate the fun things you can do because you have twins.
How have you been raising your twins? As individuals or embracing the twindom? Or a little of both? Let us know in the comments.
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- Individualism or Twindom? How Should You Raise Your Twins? - March 29, 2017